Dear 90’s Baby #9

Dear 90’s Baby,

You may be headed for failure.
In my previous letter, I talked about why people fail; people fail because they do not realize when it’s time to transition to a new season or they refuse to prepare for the next and inevitable season of their lives. Listen, tomorrow will come; let it meet you ready. There are other reasons why people fail and we look at these to gain  perspective and hopefully, break wrong patterns present in our lives that may be leading us to failure

Are you scared of failure? How much? Tell, how scared are you? Some people say the fear of failure is their motivation for success and it sounds right. Between us, I don’t think so. To be clear, the fear of failure is a thing and the fear of being called a failure exists as well. This fear is useful to the extent that it helps you visualize the pain/shame/agony/stress of failing and because humans are motivated by pain or pleasure, your natural reaction is to steer clear of anything that could put you in that situation. But the fear of failure is not the sole reason for anyone’s success ever. I’ve asked successful people.

Remember what fear is; Fear 😱 is not your friend. Fear is an unpleasant emotion caused by the threat (real or imagined) of danger, pain, or harm; Fear cripples, disrupts and distorts your focus. You probably already know that whatever you focus on magnifies; See, because fear zooms in on negative possibilities, they expand, become bigger and appear real though they are not even close to real (a huge percentage of the things we fear and worry about never happen, anyway). Hence, failure becomes more overwhelming than success and trust me, this is the last thing you want.

People fail because the fear of failure became more real to them than the possibility of success.

What is it about your future that scares you so much and makes you think you’ll fail? Maybe you are focusing too much on the present – where you are, what you don’t have and who you don’t know. The more you focus on these, the harder the journey seems and the longer it will take you. Take each day at a time, but start. Do not be so scared of the future that you begin to dread the present while clinging to the past.

There are no limits anywhere; the most powerful imitation you have is the one you have placed on yourself

fear

The fear of being seen as a failure is an even bigger problem that reveals the existence of something deeper, which I can help you deal with in a later program. First off, what people see is a function of who they are and what perspective they have. Anyone that looks at a human being and sees a failure has a fundamental problem because you see, failure is not even a person. I feel bad for them ‘cos life is pretty difficult for this type* of blind folks and no, you don’t need to bother about what such people feel or see about you. It may help you to know that they see other people that way too, including themselves.

Much of what we see depends on what we are looking for. -Phil Calloway

A lot of people live fake lives and this is the genesis; ‘I don’t want to be seen as a failure.’ Hence, they go figure out what success looks like and begin to act the part. They want to “look successful” and unfortunately, in our fickle world, that definition changes. In my country, it has meant different things in the past twenty years including; ‘many sons’, ‘a college degree’, ‘a bank job’, ‘a big car’, ‘a rich husband’ and talk-of-the-town parties 🎊 . Truth be told, success has no jerseys; you cannot tell that success just walked past you by the color of his hair or the brand of her shirt. It may come with a fat bank account and celebrity friends but that in itself is not success.

The fact that you are trying to live up to a ‘rich’ standard to appear successful is already failure

I’ve spoken with successful people and one thing is common to all of them,; they never feel the pressing need to prove it to anybody.

To be honest, I understand your concerns, and they are legit. ‘What if I fail?’, ‘What if they don’t like me?’, ‘What if they don’t buy?’, ‘What if nobody reads?’, ‘What if I fall?’ You’ll get up na 😁. But hey, remember that sweet age-old question. “My dear, what if you fly?”

Fear – whether it is fear of falling or fear of failing – is a heavy burden to carry.

See you in the comment boxes below; In my next series of letters, I’ll say more about why people fail. 😉

Your favorite 90’s Baby,
-Tolu

*the worst type of blindness is to have the ability to look but lack discernment to see. This is a truly pathetic emotional, spiritual and maybe, medical condition

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Tolu Michaels

Tolu devotes her life to helping people live truly, connect deeply and love freely. She shares the essentials of the Christian faith in everyday language and has been a speaker at many youth gatherings and discussion groups, encouraging young people to take a stand for the Lord in spite of today’s culture. Tolu serves as the Ministry Director of Godlovers Fellowship and has been featured on Kingdom Times and Lifegiva.

Comment ( 1 )
  1. CYnthia
    September 18, 2016 at 12:43 am
    Reply

    There are no limits anywhere; the most powerful imitation you have is the one you have placed on yourself…i’m holding on To thiS! Thank you !

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