JJC: A fiction

Jo’e: Jesus Christ.
Registration Officer: What?
Jo’e: Jesus…
Registration Officer: Yes…?
Jo’e: Christ.
Reg. Officer: I thought your name’s Joseph.
Jo’e: It is, Ma’am.

Reg. Off.: And…

Jo’e: [shrugs] And that’s it.

Reg. Off.: Okay…but…

Jo’e: But… he can’t be Jesus Joseph.
Reg. Off.: And why not?
Jo’e: [Silence]
Reg. Off.: Isn’t the child yours—
Jo’e: —He sure is—
Reg. Off.: —and you, the father?
Jo’e: Sure. Er, in the flesh.
Reg. Off.: Of course, funny man. Like spirits give birth, eh?
Jo’e: Ah, can’t be certain these days.
Ma’y: [whispers] C’mon, Joe.
Reg. Off.: Look. I love to banter and all, but the queue, as you can well see, ‘s longer than the Mediterranean.
Jo’e: See…thing is, Ma’am…I’m [leaning closer over the counter and saying in a low tone] under direct divine orders to register him as such.
Reg. Off.: Well, I’m sorry, I’m under direct legal orders to not register any newborn in any other name than his biological parents’. That’s the standing rule for this census.
Jo’e: I understand; I totally do—
Reg. Off.: Unless you’re not the true, biological parents.
Ma’y: We—
Jo’e : She—
Ma’y: are.
Jo’e: is.
Reg. Off.: [sighs] You guys mind tellin’ me in plain English the heck’s goin’ on here?

Ma’y: Ma’am…

Reg. Off.: The child, he yours or ain’t?
J’oe: Well, it’s not that simple.
Ma’y: Jo’e—
Reg. Off.: Well, could you, like, help me simplify it in the fewest words possible?

Jo’e: That child belongs—

Reg. Off.: And by ‘fewest words possible’ I mean a straight Yes or No.

Jo’e: And if only you’d spare a few seconds to—

Reg. Off.: That I very much doubt, Mister. I’d rather I saved time by helping you un-complicate it: You are either the father or not. But, well, [tossing her a head-to-toe side-glance] with some ladies, it’s okay to not be sure.
Ma’y: Excuse me?
Jo’e: I’m far from unsure.
Reg. Off.: Oh, well…
Ma’y: Your point exactly, Ma’am?
Reg. Off.: The point’s made itself, Ma’am.
Jo’e: Babe…
Ma’y: FYI, I have known no man since I met my husband—
Jo’e: Honey—
Reg. Off.: Apparently. But before?
Jo’e: Let it go.
Ma’y: And I say that with every sense of confidence and humility.

Jo’e: Sweetie…
Reg. Off.: Good for you.
Jo’e: Could you let it go?
Ma’y: And it may interest you to know I’ve always kept myself—

Reg. Off.: Oh, humor me already.

Jo’e: Can we not do this here?

Ma’y:…every day of my life…
Reg. Off.: Oh, most certainly. And look where that got ya.

Ma’y: I’ve been a virgin.

Reg. Off.: Hehehe.
Ma’y: Always have, and still am.
Reg. Off.: My grandma is a virgin. Always have, and still am. Heavens, you got jokes, babe!
Ma’y: And if you’re so keen on knowing—
Jo’e: This ain’t necessary, Honey—
Ma’y: here’s the gist: My child is conceived of the Holy Spirit.
Reg. Off.: Bwahahahaha.

Ma’y: Born of God Himself.

Reg. Off.: Ain’t nobody wanna take in for Satan. Hahaha.

Jo’e: Cut it out, you two!
Ma’y: He is the Father of our child!
Reg. Off.: Uh-uh. Will have to stop you right there, Ma’am. Seriously, the Holy Spirit don’t impregnate nobody. I’m all for jokes, but I don’t dig blasphemy. Y’all can get out of my face right now.
Ma’y: [misty-eyed] Jo’e, you gon’ stand there and watch her insult me? Insult us? Jo’e. Jo’e?

Back to present


Ma’y: Jo’e! Honey. [Tapping him on the shoulder]
Jo’e: Yea, Sweetie?

Ma’y: Somfin wrong?

J’oe: Certainly not. I’m good.
Ma’y: But she talking to you [pointing at the officer using her eyes only]

Jo’e: Ma’am?
Reg. Off.: Asked for your baby’s name and you went silent. You okay, Sir?
Jo’e: I’m sorry. I’m fine, thanks.
Reg. Off.: Okay…
Jo’e: Joseph Jesus Christ.
Reg. Off.: Aww. Such cool initials.
Jo’e: I know right.
Reg. Off.: Welcome to the world, JJC.
Ma’y: Hehe. Thanks, Ma’am.
Reg. Off.: May God’s blessings be upon him.
Ma’y & Jo’e: Amen!


I trust you enjoyed this post, your comments are welcome. Feel free to share this with friends. You might also want to peruse lifewords.org for other posts. Kindly subscribe to our mailing list below and get notified via email once there’s a new post. Thanks for taking out time to read this.


Image Source: Google Images



Bunmi Oke

Bunmi Oke has not stopped believing that the reality of God through Christ is best experienced personally, and the earlier in life (especially as a youth) such relationship is actuated the better. Not too long after he graduated from the University of Ibadan, he actuated a long-suppressed penchant for prose, having been expressing his writing gift through poetry ever since. Bunmi's written works are published on varying online literary platforms and currently, he writes flash fiction best and is more than happy to be part of the lifewords.org campaign. While working as a Pharmacist, Bunmi keeps probing deep within for the next story to write.

Comment ( 1 )
  1. Damola Obisesan
    December 30, 2017 at 8:54 am

    Nice piece, I enjoyed every part of it.

Leave a reply

Related Posts