Dear 90’s Baby #7

Dear 90’s Baby,

How was the first half of the year?

June is usually a month of reflection for me. I think hard and deep about every year gone by, and whether my journey makes sense. It doesn’t always make sense (this year, it does though) and I often flip between depressed and hopeful mode. Anyway, anyway, did you do all you said you will do? are you on your way to achieving those goals? It’s half-year mate!! If January – June was planning, July – December has to be Game time!!

90's Baby 7

In the spirit of reflections, let’s talk about relationships. A solid plan to be better than you were last year would not do much good if you do not increase the value of your relationships or at least form more valuable ones. You know, if people do not like you, they may not work with or help you. For your benefit, these are some ways people get disliked or ‘unliked’:

1. They never listen – If you continue to interrupt others, give BBM and Facebook more attention than the person you’re having lunch with, you might find yourself more ‘left alone’ than you want to be

2. They are obsessed with NO – My brother once asked me jokingly ‘Can’t you say ‘Yes’ for once or do you have a problem with it? Humans naturally make friends with those who look out for other people first. If you want us to like you when you’ll never go out of your way for others, you’re asking for way too much!

3. They think snubbing is a sport – OK, it’s not snubbing, it’s ignoring. Well, whatever it is, it’s high time we stopped doing it. We visit a place and talk to the people we’re expected to talk to; we walk past a group of colleagues and only greet the person we know. At least, smile when you make eye contact or just say hello. Learn to Act like people exist.

4. The stingy ones – They only give to one person, ‘ME’. They always have a reason not to give. Even when they see someone who is not in a position to help himself, they still won’t help. The fact is, people usually help those who first help them or at least have been nice to them. Jesus said when you give, it will be given unto you as well. In short, generosity is spiritual and social capital.

5. The all-time famous I.T.Ks – Just so you know, ‘attention’ (what we like to call ‘notice me’) is not an award winning achievement. Yes you’re clever but when you try so hard to be seen, you waste our time, distract us and even get us pissed. Only ask a question if you actually want to know the answer. And it’s not bad if you’re asking so others can learn, just don’t take the teacher’s place. People like those who are sincerely interested in others, and not only in themselves.

6. They tactlessly waste peoples’ time – If you turn up late every time, you’ve already said to everyone that your time is more important. If you stop someone or call them even though there is really nothing to say, it may not be a big deal at first. Continue at it and you’ll win the ‘Time-waster of the year’ title. Treat others as if they have important things to do with their time and you can’t go wrong.

7. The “Do you know who I am?” guys – OK, so maybe you are really somebody or you know somebody, we would like you more if you don’t act like we all owe you. And if you act like everyone must give you a different treatment, we will! We’ll press the ‘Ignore’ button whenever you come around.

8. They don’t know that self-jokes is not equal to permission – If you feel the need to be funny, better make fun of yourself. Just because Akpors is cracking about his father’s baldness does not mean you can. Don’t say I did not warn you .

9. They brag with ‘style’ – It’s really not fair to keep complaining to someone whom you know struggles to pay his bills about how you chose Bentley over Porsche. No need to boast, who you are is more important than what you have

10. They just never stop – Yes, you make us laugh, we know you’re funny. We know you’re original and honestly, sometimes we do not mind listening while you blow your own trumpet. But please, every day is not a ‘live show’. There is a time to play and a time to be serious, a time to mope and a time to get busy, a time to disturb and a time to just back off.

In every relationship, the easiest person to change is yourself and this is crucial if you will go far in life. Embrace improvements and become more relatable so that we can collaborate and truly work together to deliver the future. Nobody has ever done anything worthwhile all by himself. Keep letting your light shine, our generation will make a difference.

Your favorite 90’s Baby,


Comment and add to the list if you want. Who knows? Your friends and colleagues may see this post and change all their ‘bad behaviour’

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I appreciate that you read my letters; hope they make a difference 😉

Image Source: Google Images



Tolu Michaels

Tolu devotes her life to helping people live truly, connect deeply and love freely. She shares the essentials of the Christian faith in everyday language and has been a speaker at many youth gatherings and discussion groups, encouraging young people to take a stand for the Lord in spite of today’s culture. Tolu serves as the Ministry Director of Godlovers Fellowship and has been featured on Kingdom Times and Lifegiva.

Comments ( 2 )
  1. Cynthia
    July 2, 2016 at 12:11 pm

    Thanks alot for 90’s baby #1 to #end… I had alot to jot down… MOre gracE ma! ..

    July 22, 2016 at 9:58 am

    Thank you so much Cynthia and Amen! May we be the best version of ourselves.

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